HOLIDAY AFTERMATH

Our guest today is Gay N Lewis, a Texas pastor’s wife, author, speaker, and mother. 

A New Year is here. Yay!  We can put away the decorations and look forward to a fresh beginning. Right?

But wait a second—what about the old feelings?  You know what I mean? Those emotions of anger and sadness because someone hurt our feelings last year. Yeah, those.

We experience domestic times at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those two holidays occurred just a few days ago and were a nerve-racking, merry-go-round for countless folks. Did you suffer disappointments with relatives during those recent festivities?  Does the irritation, anxiety, or pain still linger? Will it last forever?

For many, the discord goes on. I work with an architect whose daughter hasn’t spoken to him in four years. He didn’t know she had moved back to Texas until I told him. He misses her and the grandchildren. I have a friend whose son never sees or visits his ill mother. She cries and prays for him to call her. Another friend hasn’t said a word to her mother in ten years! I have a cousin who was disowned by her immediate family fifty years ago. She left town, and none of us knows where she is to this day.

A famous twin sister duo, Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren, each wrote newspaper columns. They gave advice to the brokenhearted, but they themselves had separated from each other. Letters poured in to each of them—asking Dear Abby or Ann Landers how to fix a relationship with an alienated relative. The ladies gave excellent guidance, but they never took this advice themselves. They loved each other, but competition had driven them apart. Abby once commented she had a hole in her heart, but I guess it wasn’t a big enough hole for her to mend the situation. After twenty-five years, the sisters had a partial reconciliation, but they never fully regained a closeness.

Why is it family members are toxic and refuse to see each other? Is it personality conflicts? Political opinions? Religious beliefs? Jealousy? Money matters? Rivalry? Control problems?

Whatever the issue, a kinship divided is a painful situation, and families should work at resolution. As we all know, life zooms by at a rapid rate, and our missed opportunities can’t be recovered. A shaky association where people work to connect is usually better than no association at all. Thanksgiving and Christmas will come again. Let’s get the extended family together.

In my book, Family Secrets, Rebecca’s folks wounded her deeply with their deception. Rebecca’s mom and siblings thought the secrets they kept would prevent hurt. When Rebecca heard about her birth, she ran away. (Kind of like my cousin) Anger then kept her from the ones she loved. Rebecca met Marshall, and he along with neighbor Sam, tried to convince Rebecca to reconcile, but Rebecca was stubborn. Did she listen?

I hope you’ll read Family Secrets. It’s a historical novel, and it may help you reconcile relationships.

 You can visit Gay's blog at http://gaynlewis.blogspot.com/   Her novels are on Amazon and other online booksellers.